Thursday, December 01, 2005

Better late than never?

Okay, I have been quite remiss in posting here lately. Work stress has been putting me in bed (alone, and unfucked) very early these past couple of weeks. *sigh*

I found out something rather amusing tonight. I can tell a prospective lover/play partner that I enjoy any number of BDSM activities with a completely straight face and with no shame at all. I can catalogue the number of things I would allow someone to do to me, ticking them off one by one on my fingers as if I were reading a grocery list back to my husband over the phone in the middle of a convent. But mention the "s-word" and I go all gooey and giggly and blushing. I turn into a silly girl who stammers and instantly goes red and squirmy at the mere thought of someone just saying that word to me, let alone actually performing that action on my person!! My friends and lovers would absolutely be aghast at how I completely lose my cool around the s-word.

I suppose I should tell you what this dreaded/beloved word is, shouldn't I? It's *ahem* spanking. See! SEE! I'm turning red right now!!! I swear to GODS I am!

I was having dinner with a very lovely man tonight who just so happens to really enjoy this activity. (And who also is actually the age he claims to be and the marital status he claims to be.) During our conversation, the topic came up and we talked about it at length. This alone was enough to make me cross and uncross my legs and pray that I wasn't about to ruin the pair of slacks I was wearing. But then....he asked when he and I were going to get together to have a go.....and, dear readers, it's true: I blushed and could not answer. I actually had to take a moment to compose myself!!!!!

The word itself turns me on. I'm a hopeless spanko folks. I always have been. I remember being aroused by the thought of it from my very youngest days. I loved reading and re-reading parts in books where someone got spanked. And, as I grew older, wrestling with boys and getting smacks on the ass was one of my secret pleasures. I even asked my first lover to take me over his knee and paddle me. (Which he did, most obligingly, bless his heart.) Even now, the thing I'm most likely to be fantasizing about during masturbation or even *gasp!* sex is being bent over and spanked. Long, elaborate fantasies that have been around for years and have yet to grow stale.

So, yes, this brazen slut here who has begged on her knees in tears to be slapped, who has asked ever so politely for cock up her ass, who has joyfully pushed men down on a bed to climb on top of them and fuck, who has never had any issue with directing a guy to her clitoris and telling him exactly how she likes it manipulated; this girl can be taken out just by uttering one single word. *sigh*

I suppose we all have our Achille's Heel, don't we?

The very good thing though, is that the aforementioned dinner date and I have a play date next monday to do exactly that. Wheee!! I'm going to be wound like a damn top by that time. Thank gods I've lain in a fresh supply of batteries!!!


Blogger AlwaysArousedGirl said...





Does that make you blush? Heh.

9:43 PM  
Blogger figleaf said...

That's such a cool post. Thanks! All I know is you're so not the only person who feels that way about some word or another -- that sort of total combination of hesitation and lust (sometimes mixed with shame though I can't be sure you feel that too) that makes it almost impossible to say.

The hardest part, of course, is that some things like spanking are so... kind of taboo or unexpected or something... that your partners can take forever to figure it out.

I never knew that (at least) two of my previous partners felt that way about it in the whole time we were together. One told me after we'd broken up and the other never said but (I realize in retrospect) hinted strongly but so indirectly I never figured it out.

There's kind of an erotic futility to it that's very stirring, if ultimately a little frustrating.

Thanks again,


10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Darlin,
You are soooo hot. I love spanking too. Mostly giving a good spanking. I have been trying a long time to find a girlfriend who likes it too. Alas, I have failed. I have had girlfriends actually cut off or relationships when I bring up my desire to give them a spanking. They think it automatically means I'm a violence prone beast. Boo hoo.
I'm in a very nice relationship now but she is not into anything but very straightforward sex by the numbers. She is a lovely person but I am going out of my mind with lust for someone like you who appreciates getting their tail set on fire (and banged in the ass too!!). What a dream girl.
You are a lucky girl in openly accept your need and being able to get it satisfied. Maybe if I keep looking I will get lucky too. It's just been a long frustrating hunt.
Love your blog.
Hugs and kisses,

9:46 PM  

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